—USA TODAY, July 12, 2007

“A common theme in Bye -Bye Boardroom is enjoying motherhood, but not at the expense of personhood. Having a family see you become who you want to be sets a great example.” Hamman says. “Even if your business card used to read “CEO” you have a blank slate and that’s scary because there is nothing written on it-yet it’s also exciting because you can create whatever you want.”

—Southern Living, June 2007

“‘It’s a huge shift,’ admits Rachel Hamman, author of Bye-Bye Boardroom. A former executive at Merrill Lynch and Golden Rule Foundation, Hamman retired two years ago to stay home with her children, now 15 and 8. ‘Staying home means having to reinvent who we are. And that’s scary…I’ve learned more about myself in the two year I have been home with my children than in the two decades I spent working.’”

—American Baby, March 2007

“…chronicles the personal stories of twenty-eight professional women who chose motherhood…Hamman closes with a Top Ten List of lessons learning including the comforting #1, “I Am Not Alone,” and #6, “There Is an I in Family.”

—Foreword Magazine, September 2007

“A few years ago, Maitland resident Rachel Hamman was a high-powered working professional. After her two children came along, however, she made the decision to put her career on hold to be a stay-at-home mother. What she didn’t count on was how challenging the transition would be. Feeling isolated, she sought the company of other full-time mothers who inspired her to write her first book, ‘Bye-Bye Boardroom: Confessions from A New Breed of Stay-at-Home Moms.’…’Bye-Bye Boardroom,’ written in a diary format . . .”

—Orlando Leisure, June/ July 2006

“There are plenty of myths and assumptions attached to the idea of stay-at-home moms — like the luxury of making your own schedule, escaping the working world for the comforts of home and never needing to set the alarm for early wake-ups again. Reality can be a lot different but just as rewarding, according to Bye-Bye Board Room: Confessions From a New Breed of Stay-At-Home Moms, a new book by Rachel Hamman.”
––Orlando Sentinel, June 2006

Erin Allen

Erin was born and raised in Lafayette, Indiana. There she met the love of her life, Casey Allen. They were married January 18, 2003 at the ages of 17 and 18 years old. Her first son, Warren was born May 10, 2003. Erin’s husband joined the army a year later and she moved to Fort Sill, Oklahoma, where she gave birth to their second son, Justin, on October 25, 2004. Erin’s husband served a year in Iraq from October 2005 to September 2006. Erin gave birth to their third and final child, Kaitlyn, on December 27, 2006. She is about to set off on her next adventure, as she and her family will be moving to Hawaii. “No matter how, you need to try to find time for yourself, even if it is to just go out after dinner and take a walk around the block. Leave the kids and husbands or significant others at home.”

Mandy Barron

“I have found that either getting up an hour before everyone else or staying up an hour after everyone has gone to bed really recharges my batteries. It’s hard, or even impossible, to stop in the middle of the day, so sometimes it’s easiest to take that time before or after. Whatever you do, though, definitely take the time for yourself! You will find that you have so much more to give to your family when you take some time to become refreshed.”

Methany Beasley

Methany is a thirty-something single mother of two wonderful daughters and three dogs. She works as an office manager at a pet hospital. Methany loves children and she does volunteer work with them on a regular basis. She coaches cheerleading, directs her church’s children’s choir, and has run her own home daycare for the last nine years. She spends a lot of time with her children and everyone else’s. “So if anyone needs a mom’s night out, it would definitely be me! It’s important for a mom to have time for herself for her own sanity and for the safety of others.”

Amber Bishop

“Get up at least 30 minutes before your kids. It makes a world of difference in the attitude of your day.”

Kelly Bittner

Prior to having a family, Kelly was a customer service manager for 10 years at a medical supply company. Now she is a stay-at-home Mom to Lydia, 4, Benjamin, 2, and baby number three on the way (another girl!). Kelly was born and raised in South Jersey and still currently lives in Cherry Hill, with her husband of five years. She joined a local MOMS Club when she had her daughter four years ago and found it was a great way to make new friends and get out with other new moms plus learn from the experienced moms. She is still somewhat active in the club and loves to sunshine meals for the moms that have just had babies…(such a small thing to help a new mom out). In her free time she loves to shop, cook, listen to music, go out with friends and gab on the phone! “Such simple pleasures give me the biggest boost of energy to continue for the next productive day with my children.” Moms need to be able to keep a sense of independence, to stay in control and keep a sane head…without alone time you seem to lose some of these qualities.

Ellie Bresnahan

Ellie is the mom of Shea Lilly who is 6. Shea is a beautiful little girl who is playful, funny, very creative, a non- stop talker, and at times very dramatic. This little girl has turned my life upside down. Motherhood has been nothing like I expected, because no one will really tell you all (the good, bad and ugly). Mom’s Night Out is an understatement. I tell new or expecting moms, “Don’t forget about you.” It’s important and I know, it’s easier said than done. Through and through, every day there is something new to learn about your child and yourself. My favorite thing to do is to watch Shea while she sleeps (the only time she’s not talking), thinking how blessed I am and how amazing she is and what she has given to me. I know it’s been said before, because it was said to me, and I couldn’t imagine it because you tend to want the next stage to happen: sleeping through the night, walking, and potty training them. Stop and take time to cherish each stage, because time goes by so quickly.

Faustinn Brown Howard

Faustinn juggles many different titles and responsibilities, among them wife, mother to 17-month-old Kyan, student, business owner, sister, and friend. Each one comes with its own list of demands, but she loves every minute of it! Faustinn recently opened her own cake business specializing in children’s birthday cakes. Find out more about it at www.myspace.com/calientcakes “When I take a Mom’s Night Out, I feel like a woman again- not a ‘mom’ or a ‘wife,’ but a woman! It helps to renew my spirits, and makes me eager to return home and resume my roles.”

Mary Susan Buhner

A writer at heart, Mary Susan contributed to the book, Bye-Bye Boardroom: Confessions from a New Breed of Stay-At-Home Moms, she is a guest columnist for Topics Newspaper (a Gannett Publication), andhas two additional writing projects underway. Before staying home to raise her children, Susannah, Caroline and Amelia, Mary Susan had a successful and rewarding career in the not-for-profit sector. With a degree in speech communication from Indiana University and a management certificate in fundraising from the well-respected Center on Philanthropy, she led fundraising efforts for several educational institutions. As Executive Director of the Lawrence Township Foundation, she worked with The Lilly Endowment to raise $1 million for the public school system. As an endowment campaign director for Indiana University, she helped configure and implement a national feasibility study for the University’s $350 million Endowment Campaign that led her to key fundraising positions with the YWCA of Greater Indianapolis and Butler University. Even now, you can usually find her supporting her favorite causes, concentrating on children and education, throughout Indianapolis. Mary Susan is committed to the community from serving on the Board of Directors of the Junior League of Indianapolis to serving St. Luke’s United Methodist Church to her yearly efforts with the United Christmas Service. In addition, she serves as the past president of the Indiana University Alumni Club of Indianapolis. A true extrovert, Mary Susan enjoys traveling, new experiences and meeting people. When home she loves gardening, entertaining, writing and reading. A self-professed perfectionist, she would love to improve her tennis and skiing skills, but enjoys the relaxation of golf and Pilates. She enjoys the company of those who have a good sense of humor. ”Give yourself permission to take time for yourself. It took me until I had my third child to pursue the things I love. Don’t wait …take care of yourself!”

Jen Campbell

Catherine Carter

My advice for new moms, soon-to-be moms, or moms, like me, who have been around for a while, is don’t forget that your life is important, too. Renew yourself with books, exercise and social groups. Put aside one hour a day to devote to yourself with something that makes you happy. Remember, when Momma’s happy, everyone is happy!”

Hope Casanova

“It’s important for a mom to have time for herself so she does not have to worry about anything else but herself for that time.”

Sonia P. Chavez

Mother of two boys: Ian, 18 and d’Arcy who is 16. She has been divorced for six years and is ready to begin life again now that her kids are old enough. Sonia is an administrative assistant who enjoys dancing; tennis and Tai chi. “When a mom takes time for herself, it refreshes and liberates her from her responsibilities… at least for that time. It renews her so when she goes back to her family, she’ll be ready to receive whatever comes her way again.”

Lisa Clift

Lisa was born in Rhode Island, married her high school sweetheart and now lives in the town of Coventry with her husband and four children. Working part-time as a hairstylist and full-time as a mother and wife, she looks forward to her hobby of writing. She enjoys writing humorous poems, short stories and writing in her journal. Whether her daily entries in her journal are happy or filled with sorrow, she feels humor is life’s best medicine. “Never lose sight of your own personal identity. To truly be a good mother you have to be happy within yourself before you can make your children into happy, well-rounded individuals.”

Kari Conley, APR

Kari serves as the Director of Community and Government Relations for the Orlando Magic and has worked there for eight seasons. In this role, she oversees the strategic direction for player initiatives and their personal foundations, the Orlando Magic Youth Foundation (OMYF) and all aspects of school, community and league-wide programs, including the Magic Volunteer Program (MVP) and NBA Cares. Prior to joining the Orlando Magic, Conley was responsible for implementing public relations and branding strategies at Carlman Booker Reis public relations agency and The Salvation Army National Headquarters in Washington, D.C. She received her Masters in Organizational Communication from Baylor University and her Bachelor of Arts degree from Samford University. Conley serves on the board for the Ronald McDonald House in Orlando, the Orange County Arts Advisory Council as well as the Community Leadership Council for the Howard Phillips Center. She is a past president of the Florida Public Relations Association Orlando Area Chapter and accredited in the field of Public Relations. Her personal interests include reading fiction books, traveling with her husband, eating at outdoor cafes, writing, having a tea party with her daughter and playing Star Wars with her son. Conley and her husband Chad have lived in Orlando for 10 years and have a son, Carson and a daughter, Camryn. “As the old saying goes, ‘When Mama’s happy, everyone’s happy.’ With my personality, I need time to get away and recharge. If I’m constantly in a state of chaos, I am only contributing to more chaos rather than being a solid foundation for my family.”

Kimberly Copeland

“Mom’s Night Out is needed to maintain your sanity. It helps to get out and socialize with other women who may be dealing with the same issues you are. Sometimes listening to others makes you appreciate what you have at home!”

Lorie Cormier

“Taking time for yourself has to be done for your sanity! I don’t always take my own advice, but if you have family or friends close by, or a neighbor, see if they will watch your child for an hour.”

Mary Crowther

“A mom needs to remember who she is, besides being a mom.”

Marilyn Curran

“In order for moms to make time for themselves, they need to schedule, schedule, schedule! Block out time each day and stick to it. No matter what.”

Isra’a Dabbour

Isra’a is a Palestinian Canadian with a statistics and computer science degree from Dalhousie University, who is currently a certified project management professional with a certificate in executive development obtained from the University of Washington Business School. Aside from her professional career, Isra’a has a major interest in foreign languages. She is fluent in Arabic and English, speaks basic French and understands German. The most memorable times to Isra’a are those spent at home with loved ones, by the fireplace, chit chatting till dawn, and her most productive times are those spent volunteering within the community and participating in good cause events. Isra’a has a one- year -old son, Ahmad Atef, who added the touch of love to their small family and made their life preciously meaningful. “Even if you feel you can’t make time for yourself, I suggest jumping in the shower and letting it wash away your worries and stress. It can be easy to arrange for someone to watch the baby for fifteen minutes. It can do miracles for your overall state of well -being.”

Cheryl Donigan

“Moms need time to relax, de-stress, regroup and grow as individuals. When I have a couple of hours to myself, which isn’t too often, just savoring the peace and quiet is therapeutic.”

Shawna Fidler

Shawna is a devoted mother of two sons, Kyler and Kameron, a loving wife to husband Brad, and a WAHM as a personal trainer/fitness instructor in New Albany, Indiana (Louisville, KY metro-area). Her husband’s job requires him to work out of town Monday through Friday, so she is home alone to raise the kids much of the time. Shawna relies on her friends for support. She is the owner and very active member of two women’s groups: Friends ‘N Fitness, a support group for women who are interested in living fit, healthy, active lifestyles, and Girls Night Out Club, a group where women of all ages and different backgrounds unite to form friendships and get together to enjoy time away from work and family. “Getting out with the girls gives you time to find yourself again….not as a wife, or a mom, but as the person you are when you aren’t a “title.” It also allows you a place to relate to other women, vent about things that are happening in your life, and take a break from all the duties and to-do lists.”

Leslie Fleischman

Leslie lives in Scotch Plains, New Jersey. Leslie favors two quotes on the subject of loving your family and yourself enough to take time out to nurture your essence, your spirit. Pearl S. Buck writes, “I love people. I love my family, my children…but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.” And with that in mind, remember one thing about a mom, “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.” Our children are always in our heart, even when they’re on our nerves.

Suzanne Fletcher

Suzanne is a wife to a wonderful husband, Jeff, and a mother of four beautiful children spaced out in age. Her daughter Kristene, 23, is a new mommy. (Yes, that makes Suzanne is a Grandma); her son Anthony, 16, who also keeps her running: Justin, 3, and Logan, 2. Her kids are what fill her days with pride and joy. Most people say she is crazy for starting all over with babies, but that was her choice and she loves it! You can also find Suzanne and her beautiful family at www.myspace/suzannefletcher.com “We all need a night out. It gives us a chance to rejuvenate ourselves for our kids and husbands.”

Aryn Hall

“We need time to be something other than mommy; wife and co-worker. We need time to be women, time to refresh ourselves.”

Ava Hamman

Ava is a third generation Floridian and the mom of a fantastic five-year-old old son. In her “other” job she is a successful national sales manager for a hotel and has earned numerous professional accolades. Her real joy is found in spending time with her son and seeing the world through his eyes. She has been married to Al for 12 years, and he and their golden retriever are her other two “children”!

In what little spare time she has, Ava is a yoga enthusiast who finds a bit of sanity in yard work and daily walks. She also enjoys a good crime novel, as long as someone gets “whacked” by the end of the first chapter. Having just made pancakes for the first time in her life, she feels it’s definitely a good thing to have a night out rather than doing that whole cooking thing again any time soon! You have to make the commitment to doing something for you and take it as seriously as you would if you were doing something for someone else.

Kamyra L. Harding

Kamyra is a management consultant, freelance writer, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor and colleague. Her work can be found at http://www.Kamyra.com . Through her volunteer activities, as an advocate for women and families, she has touched the lives of many New Yorkers. Kamyra is an active member of the Greater New York Chapter of the Links, Inc., the Junior League of Brooklyn and The Riverside Church in New York. She lives and works in Manhattan with her husband and son. “Everyone needs a breather from work. Caring for family is work with a capital ‘W’. You’ll be a more productive staffer on your family job if you rejuvenate yourself.”

Luana Hayth

Marcy Heath Pierson

Marcy, age 43, is the mother of one little girl and stepmother of two boys! She married her college sweetheart after 14 years apart and now resides in Longwood, Florida. She resigned from her full-time job as a medical device sales representative to become a full-time at-home mom for her daughter and two stepsons in 2004. Carly Pierson is 3, Connor Pierson is 7 and Clint Pierson is 10. Marcy grew up in Orlando, Florida, and graduated from the University of Central Florida. She enjoys tennis, photography and watching college football. Marcy grew up cheering on the Florida Gators and continues her family tradition by being a season ticket holder. When she is not running her little one to the park or the pool, Marcy assists her husband, Todd, in marketing his business, The Mortgage Firm. For more information log onto www.themortgagefirm.com.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help. In addition, create a network with other moms, make sure your husband and kids understand your need for “me time” and get their buy-in. Remember no one is going to take care of you better than you!”

Mistie Hirzel

Mistie works part-time at an elementary school as a computer resource assistant and absolutely loves her job. She has the best of both worlds. She is able to work 3.5 hours and affect the lives of so many wonderful children by giving them the technical tools needed in the world today, and she is able to be at home for her children and husband. Mistie is actively involved in AYSO and has been since she was a child; however, for the past 17 years it has been in a coaching and/or board position. She has been blessed to have met amazing people through-out her soccer travels. She values the friendships that have been bonded through such a wonderful sport. “My mother-in-law gave me such a strong word of advice before her early passing: ‘I thought I needed to be there when the children were babies; however, it was when they were teens and really needed guidance that I feel I should have been home. When they are babies, they love purely; when they are teenagers, they love whom they choose.’ That bit of advice has always stuck with me. Thankfully, I am blessed to be in the position I am. Now that my kids – ages 13, 15 and 17 – are all in high school, I realize how very true her words were. In order to be a happier mom for your kids, you must find time for yourself. You will be happier and your children will prosper from it. It is amazing what just one hour a day will do for you. Not only will your children prosper, but your own self-esteem will grow. It is a wonderful cycle.”

Bobbie Holbrook

Bobbie has seven children, ages 17, 15, 11, 10, 7, 5, and almost 2. She has been a stay-at-home mom for the last two years, with her final child, and regrets not having the opportunity to be able to do it sooner. Bobbie enjoys antiques and flea markets. She is a sucker for garage sales, and is always on the lookout for that something special. Spending time with her family has always been important to her, and she enjoys every chance she can get out and do things all together. Bobbie collects recipes and hopes to try as many as she can. She enjoys wood-crafting, and painting. She also enjoys photography and graphics and hopes to eventually get a business going from home, doing photo DVDs and digital scrap-booking. As hard as it may seem, with one child or even seven… you need to make time for you. Whether it’s sitting on the porch while your child is doing a puzzle, and painting your nails, to waiting for everyone to go to sleep to soak in a hot bath, or window shopping while you’re out doing errands, everything you do for yourself helps you be a better mom and wife. You can stay more focused and breathe a little easier at the tough times. And you’ll feel better about yourself, too.

Lynda Ilse

Sara Johnson

Sara is a 28-year-old stay-at-home mom to three kids living in lower Alabama. When she is not taming the trio of Satan’s spawn, she hangs out with other playgroup fugitives, serves on the PTA, and tries to avoid being detected by the neighborhood Gap moms. She can usually be found wandering around in her personal site, Suburban Oblivion (http://www.suburbanoblivion.com) and hosting a radio show with fellow bloggers on BlogTalk Radio. Moms “Moms have to find time for themselves for the same reason you wouldn’t want to live at your job- everyone needs some downtime.”

Stacey Kannenberg

Stacey is an award-winning author, publisher, motivator, consultant and MOM. She is the co-author of the award-winning and California and Texas Approved books Let’s Get Ready For Kindergarten! and Let’s Get Ready For First Grade! She is the publisher of two books by syndicated columnist Jodie Lynn: Syndication Secrets and Mom CEO (Chief Everything Officer) Having, Doing, and Surviving It All! She is the publisher of Barb Rockaway’s Mommy, Where are You? and Daddy, Where are You? to be released in 2008. Stacey has been a consultant for John Brook’s Bobby Bright’s Greatest Christmas Ever! and Miracle Mouse, which features a group of former Disney and Warner Bros. animators who hope to generate enough interest in Miracle Mouse the book to create Miracle Mouse the movie. Stacey is helping military mom Leah McDermott with her book Hurry Home and Ellen Roller’s new book Trading Places. Stacey is a principal and consultant for Mom Central Consulting. Stacey is wife to Michael and Mom to Heidi, 8 and Megan, 6. “Make time to do what makes you truly happy and that happiness will spread to the entire family!”

Linda Kennedy

Linda is a registered nurse and radiologic technologist. She is a single parent who raised Jared Ryan, now 22 years old. Her advice for other moms is to take a few minutes for themselves every day. “My best alone time to collect my thoughts and review the day would be a nightly soak in the tub.” Light some candles, use different aromatics in the bath water and just relax.

Regina Kern

Regina is a mother of three children, Kayla 8, Jason 5, and Emily, 2 and celebrated her 13th wedding anniversary last October. On the job, she is a title coordinator for a real estate law firm. As if that wouldn’t keep her busy enough, she is also the administrative head of volunteer for her county fair grounds and fundraises for children’s charities for Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical center. In her spare time, she crews for a hot-air balloon company, Gentle Breeze, and enjoys arts and crafts. “It’s never easy, but find a least an hour of quite time so that you can keep a level head when you’re ducking flying Legos.”

Stephanie Kobrin

Stephanie is a local government financial manager. She lives in Florida with her 9-year-old daughter, Rebecca. She recently completed her first half-marathon and hopes to find the time to train for a full marathon before Rebecca graduates high school. “Every mom needs to be able to blow off steam once in a while without her wife/mother responsibilities.”

Rene Kuretich

“Moms need a night out so we can be the best we can be!”

Kate Kuykendall

Kate is an early childhood education major from Emerson, Arkansas. She grew up in Nashville, Arkansas and lived there until late 2002. Kate is married to a very loving and caring dad and husband. He works hard so she can be a stay-at- home mommy to their beautiful 18-month-old daughter, Kyleigh. “She keeps us busy and always entertained. Right now she is my job, and probably the most rewarding, yet hardest job I will ever take. Her advice: “Try your hardest to find me-time. Even if it is a ten-minute shower, it’s worth it and good for the kids too. You just have to get past feeling guilty about it and do it.”

Maritza Luciano

Maritza is a proud mother of three lovely daughters and three grandchildren. Her interest has always been in the medical profession; unfortunately, after she graduated from nursing school in 1975 her first daughter was born and her hobbies became sewing and hitting garage sales. Her family is spread all over the states, so it is very hard to get together for holidays. “God has blessed me with good people since I moved to Orlando. Rachel and Brad Hamman being on the top of my list and also a little birdie at WLOQ by the name of Robyn. We all need to find time alone to reflect on our lives.”

Tukita Mack- Oliver

Tukita is a mother of four children, three girls and one boy. She is originally from Trenton, New Jersey. She enjoys floral design, photography, painting, entertaining and the performing arts. Although she loves to do these things, she finds it difficult to find the time to do them as often as she’d like. Recently, she left her job to finish nursing school, but she would prefer to own her own business. “If you can find only five minutes, take it. Breathe and keep moving!”

Alyssa Matzen

“Even if you can just get away for a moment to take a nice hot bath and relax, it is well worth it to rejuvenate yourself. You might want it to last for a couple hours, but just to be able to lock the door and forget what’s on the other side for a bit can really make a difference. It’s a good way to make an excuse for not being able to change a diaper or have to be the one to console a crying child-your spouse/significant other has to take over!”

Kimberly McHugh

Kim is a wife, mother, daughter and sister. She is a Native American Indian. She was a stay at home mom until her daughter went into third grade and Kim became a special education para-educator working with autistic children. She loves quilting, bead working, family and friends. Meeting new people excites her, as does life in general. “Everyone needs personal time to be themselves. I believe that each of us has a different personality when we are with our children and spouse…then there is the individual ME.”

Christine McLeroy

Christine is a single mom to the most amazing human being she has ever met. “I love you doesn’t even begin to cover it. This kid amplifies my life and lights me up like no one else can.” She went back to school to get an advanced medical degree. Yes, she waited until after she had a toddler and was a single mom to go back to school, and she absolutely loves it. Christine has her own jewelry business with Premier that keeps her in shoes and her kiddo in toys. She also makes time to volunteer for a hospice because she thinks it’s important.

Christine is friends with a great group of girls and the founder of a moms’ group in her area. “Find someone you trust and ask for their help to watch your kiddo(s). Even if it’s just for a half hour a day, take that time and go take a bath, bleach your teeth, give yourself a pedicure – just do something for yourself. I have just learned this, and I am a lot happier and a lot more patient.”

Teresa Media

Charissa Mennell

Charissa enjoys being a stay-at-home mom with two wonderful children. Her eldest is home-schooled, and her toddler will follow the same path when the time comes. She is pursuing her writing career, and is currently at work on a medical thriller. She is looking forward to finishing her first book and getting started on the others in the pipeline. Charissa is a former pre-med student with a degree in psychology. After considering her options, she chose to pursue her lifelong passion of writing, which inevitably opened up opportunities to spend more time with her family. She also manages her husband’s chiropractic office, and is responsible for marketing, advertising, producing newsletters and managing the company’s website. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, scrap-booking and trying new recipes. She also enjoys freelance writing when opportunities arise. She values quality time with her family, though she looks forward to an occasional Mom’s Night Out when her busy schedule allows. “Find out what’s important for you, and make time for it. This may mean that the laundry or vacuuming has to be put off for a day, but in the end you will be more productive if you’re truly happy and take a few minutes for yourself.”

Lori Merriam

Born and raised in Boise, Idaho, Lori started writing at an early age and has written several poems, short stories and a couple of screenplays. She enjoys music, reading, cooking, crafts, animals, traveling and networking. She’s worked in the entertainment industry which brought her back to the Nashville area. Lori started her own business, Essence of Elegance Bath and Body for pet lovers and their pets. She resides in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, with her two children. “We have to take care of ourselves. Everyone needs time to just take a breath and exhale, especially moms.”

Kristi Nygren

“When I do something alone or have plans to go out, it gives me something to look forward to. This causes me to be less stressed and more tolerant.”

Kathryn Osborne

While not a native Floridian, Kathryn Levine Osborne has been living in central Florida for over ten years. Born in Phoenix, Arizona, and growing up in places as diverse as metropolitan Los Angeles and Valdosta (Georgia), she brings a wide variety of work and life experiences to the table. With an undergraduate degree in communications and a master’s in family therapy from Valdosta State College/University, she is a clinical supervisor and evaluator for a local traffic school. She and her husband Brett enjoy traveling, concerts and relaxing in their home. While never a “birth” mother, her stepson Marcus is a joy to her, fulfilling the instinctual desire to nurture a young life. Her two little “girls,” Ebony and Gracie, bark at her when she gets home. A die-hard sweepstakes enthusiast, she has won items from a trip to Europe to perfumes, ball caps and coupons for free items. She ends all of her emails with…”To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings. Practice random acts of kindness and unfathomable love and mercy. Shalom to you and yours.”

Michelle Parris

Michelle is a proud “Blackorican” (black and Puerto Rican) mother of two absolutely fantastic children: Nicholas, 9, and Miles, 4. She has a BS in elementary and kindergarten education with an emphasis in visual and performing arts and a minor in Spanish from Penn State University and an MS in reading from Johns Hopkins University. When she is not teaching Spanish to middle-school children (which she has been doing for 15 years), she tries to spend as much time with her family as possible. When she can find a minute for herself, she enjoys singing, reading, dancing salsa, cooking, watching television, and making greeting cards. Born in Puerto Rico, Michelle has lived in St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands, and the Washington, D.C., area, and currently resides with her children and her loving and supportive husband Hal in Alpharetta, Georgia. “A mom needs time for herself in order to regain her sanity, which, in turn, helps the children and husband not to have to deal with her wrath.”

Diane Philpot

“Since we wear so many hats, moms sometimes get lost in all the other activities. I feel it is imperative not to lose who we are despite the obstacles we deal with daily. After all, we need to be who we are, not who people expect us to be.”

Cindy Potter

Cindy was born in the arts! Her mom pioneered the orchestra program for Florida’s Orange County school system, and her father was the first art teacher on Central Florida’s instructional television station. After studying theatre at Rollins College in Winter Park, and spending several years as a stage manager and actor in local theatre in Orlando, Cindy toured with Downstage Center Productions, the South East National Touring Company of Hair. Also an avid animal lover, she was the first female elephant handler for Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus World Showcase. Later joining Clyde Beatty Cole Bros. Circus, she often helped her husband care for 15 lions and tigers! She eventually spent 12 years on the road with the Clyde Beatty-Cole Bros. Circus as marketing director and director of special events, and media spokesperson. Her daughter, Cassidy, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana in 1983 and is now tutoring homeless adults to prepare them for a better lifestyle. Cindy spent years promoting and supporting the arts in Central Florida and is currently the community relations manager for WFTV 9 Family Connection, the public service program for the ABC network affiliate owned by COX Television Broadcasting in Central Florida. “Make time in your schedule for yourself and simply let your family know it’s your time.”

Diana Purutcuoglu

Diana lives in Central Florida with her husband and two children. With a background in publishing and corporate communications, she has worked as a writer, editor, and college English instructor. She enjoys traveling (she has lived and worked in Europe and Asia) and loves animals, reading biographies, and shopping in historic districts. Diana currently writes a column about motherhood for a local lifestyle magazine. “Mothers are ‘on the job’ twenty-four hours a day. If you manage to schedule time off, don’t feel obligated to divulge every detail. It is impossible not to feel guilty when explaining to your family that you are going shopping with a girlfriend or getting a facial (or taking a nap in the car). Simply say that you are using a ‘personal day,’ and let them wonder.”

Gayle Reis

“Hire a great babysitter!! There is not a better investment out there. When you get some time away for you, you will come back refreshed for your children and they will love you for it!”

Cinella Reyes

Cinella is a 23-year-old Texan mom, of Hispanic heritage, from the Deep South. She says that being Mexican-American has its challenges. Cinella is a mother of a toddler, and she and her husband are living with her recently widowed mom. Cinella started attending college again and her husband works ten-hour shifts. “I love coming home to my family every day. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Jiya Sarma

Jiya is an attorney specializing in ship finance and maritime dispute resolution, especially arbitration, debt workouts and bankruptcy, and in U.S. international trade law. She is also the mother of a very active toddler and has been happily married for eight years. She is also the “parent” of a very rowdy dog who keeps her busy. In her (limited) free time, Jiya enjoys traveling, reading, humor writing (inspired by Erma Bombeck), and cross-stitch (placing 3rd at the New Jersey State Fair in 2003). “Women have to be so many things — wife, mother, employee, daughter and sister. It’s nice to have some time to just be myself.”

Melissa Savage

Melissa is a 35-year-old physical therapist assistant for Intrepid Home Health Agency. When she was pregnant with her firstborn, she asked her employer to have Fridays off, and they allowed her to do so. She loves being able to help people improve their lives, but she does miss her kids when she’s at work. Everett, her four-year-old, loves his preschool and Martin, her one-year-old loves his daycare, so they do make it easier for her to leave them in the mornings. Melissa is also an aerobics instructor at the YMCA, and she finds this a wonderful place for the kids to play with their friends and for her to bond with other mothers. The Y has a mother’s morning out and a parent’s night out once a month. This allows her to have fun with the girls and fun with her husband, Cory, at least once a month. “Taking time for myself helps me ‘reboot,’ and if I’m away from my kids for any length of time it helps me appreciate everyone more.”

Erin Sawyer

Erin was born and raised in Pennsylvania. She graduated in December of 2003 from York College of Pennsylvania with a BA in mass communication. In October of 2003 she was married, and she had twin boys in October of 2005. Erin has worked at the Defense Distribution Center since 2001, where she started as a student hire. Her husband stays home with the boys during the day and works at night. Although things are hard, she feels that her worst day with kids is still better than her best day without them. “Probably the biggest thing I see is that people will ignore their kids or themselves to get their house spotless. If you have a sink full of dishes or the floor needs sweeping, I would ignore it. The time that you are missing with your children is absolutely priceless, and you can’t get it back once it’s past. “

Fawn Schooley

Fawn is a graduate of Robert Morris College with a degree in communications management. Having worked since the age of 17, she has had quite a variety of jobs. Fawn worked her way through college as a hotel maid, secretary, photographer, and various others. After school she worked for an advertising firm in Pittsburgh and as a sales rep for a video distribution company. Her favorite and most challenging job, though, is as a stay-at-home mom to three great kids, Dylan, Will and Delaney, and wife to husband, Bill. She now works part-time for a friend who owns a jewelry store and has helped fundraise for the local police department. “As I see my kids growing, I’m looking forward to the next chapter of my life and am able to look back with no regrets for time well spent.”

Janet Schuh

“I think it’s important to share the joys and also the challenges of your children. You will find out that other moms have similar challenges, and it helps you get through trying times.”

Melissa Seibert

Melissa is the mother of two grown children, Mark Andrew and Amanda Nicole. She has been married 37 years to Mark Sr., a wonderful man. Melissa is the Assistant Director of Emergency Services for The American Red Cross. She enjoys decorating and floral design. She and her husband have been involved with the puppet ministry of their church (Canton Baptist Temple) for 14 years and the entire children’s ministry for 26 years. Melissa’s mother, who recently died, was her greatest role model and best friend. “I pray every day to be my children’s’ role model, for who better for them to emulate at the end of every day when the sun sets and the stars come out? I pray I made a difference in someone’s life today.”

Jennifer Shank

“Even though you may feel guilty taking time for yourself, it will in turn make you a better mom for your children.”

Phyllis Skogland

“Moms need time to grow their own personalities, too.”

Yvette Spinks

Yvette is the proud mother of two young men, Travis and Antonio. She is New Jersey born and raised. Words she likes to live by: “Nothing just happens; things happen just.”

Danielle Stephenson

Danielle graduated from The University of Wisconsin-Madison in 1995 with a BS in art. In 1999, she completed her graduate degree in elementary education at Cardinal Stritch University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and, at the same time, married her soul mate. She taught fourth grade for two years before giving birth to her son. At that time, she decided to stay home with him and then had her daughter 16 months later. Health problems, her husband’s job transfers every three years and the desire to spend time with her children have kept her from returning to teaching. During this time, she has revisited her artistic side by painting murals in children’s rooms, doing impressionistic and children’s decorative paintings with acrylic on canvas and creating slideshow montages for weddings, anniversaries and birthdays. Recently, she started her own handcrafted jewelry and medical ID bracelet business called Blue Daisies, which can be visited at www.bluedaisiesjewelry.com. Her son Jack is now four and her daughter, Ella, is three, both are in preschool, allowing her time to focus her creative energy into her business, which is based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where they live. “If you need some alone time, find some good neighbors with children of similar ages and work out babysitting trades. My neighborhood is fantastic that way. Ninety-five percent of this neighborhood has children around the same age. If I have a doctor’s appointment or somewhere to go that would become painful with children in tow, I ask a neighbor to watch my children and they do the same thing. We help each other out.”

Michelle Stewert

Michelle is a wife to Peter and mother to two sons, Parker, 4, and Tyler, 18 months. She graduated with an undergraduate degree in marriage, family and human development from Brigham Young University and served an 18-month mission for her church in Uruguay. While chasing after her two young boys is adventurous enough for her at this stage in life, she looks forward to writing more in the future, with a particular interest in writing children’s books. She currently resides in Columbus, Ohio. “Make a weekly schedule – down to the minute if necessary. (Allow some flex time each day for the unexpected.) You need to schedule time for yourself every day. Prioritize your personal needs and make sure that by the end of the week, you have put ample time toward each of your goals.”

Cathie Streetman

Cathie is a beginning teacher coordinator/recruiter for Lexington City Schools in North Carolina. She was a classroom teacher for 27 years before accepting this position in 2003. She holds a BA Degree from The University of North Carolina at Greensboro in early childhood education. She also holds a mater’s degree in education from North Carolina A & T State University in Greensboro, NC. Cathie is married to Eddie and has two children: Nicole, 28, and a son, Jesse and two step daughters, Ashley and Kelly. She enjoys reading, travel, sports and singing in her church choir. Her boxer dog, Jersey, has helped to fill the “Empty Nest” since her son went off to college. She also enjoys spending time with her two grandsons: Colby, 8, and Camden, 5. “If you are a mom who is struggling to find time during your busy day, hire someone to help you or swap out the time if money is an issue.”

Valorie Taylor

Valorie has enjoyed a successful 20-year career in public safety communications. She is currently the Texas regional sales manager with the premier software company in her industry. She enjoys living Kyle, Texas, a small community south of Austin, with her two beautiful kids, Aaron, nine, and Briana, eight. Valorie especially likes the slower pace of life in her small town which helps keep her grounded and lets her soul breathe.

Amy KD Tobik

Amy graduated from Sweet Briar College in Virginia in 1990 and worked as an assistant editor for three magazines in Charleston, South Carolina before getting married. She spent many years as a technical writer/analyst for DEA and INS in Washington D.C., a job she left when her husband Steve accepted a position in Florida. Amy grew up in the newspaper world with a mother and grandmother who were both writers. For the past three years she has written weekly features for a local newspaper from her home office. “Take a moment to review who you are every day and remember the greatest reward is creating strong, loving, empathetic and resilient children.”

Michele Vargas

Christine Velez-Botthof

Christine is an Emmy-award-winning journalist from New York City. She’s walked a thousand miles in a journalist’s shoes, covering stories as far away as Cuba and as heart-wrenching as 9/11. It took the tragedy of the Twin Towers collapse to help Christine understand the value of family. That’s when she made the decision to start a family. She’s now a part-time journalist and full-time mom and wife living in the South with her husband, two children and dogs. “Everyone needs time to unwind and separate from one another every so often. Space is a good thing and brings people closer together.”

Rennae Whitt

Once upon a time she was a vice president. She wore great business clothes, built a world-class call center, spoke to adults and traveled the world. Now she wears sweats and is a personal assistant to a little princess. Her days are spent in her minivan taking her daughter back and forth to school, dance classes and Girl Scouts. She is a huge animal lover who has rescued nine cats, two dogs, a chipmunk, duck, bat and one cow. “Being a wife and mother is a 24/7 job with no sick time or vacation time. We need some time just to rest.”

Billie Williams

“My children are all grown and very successful adults. When I raised them I was a single parent, and with five kids it was impossible to work and take care of the kids without getting calls to leave work because of something one of them had done. Working twelve-hour shifts was exhausting, but coming home to my kids made up for it. It was worth it to have been blessed with such wonderful, funny kids. They always had a way of making me laugh when I needed it.”

Margaret Williams

Growing up in the small town of Decatur, Alabama, Margaret moved to the big city of Birmingham. There she went to Samford University and then to the University of Birmingham at Alabama, where she received her B.S. and masters in early childhood education. After teaching kindergarten for ten years, she moved on to higher education as a literacy coach for a Federal Grant and is now an independent parent educator and education consultant offering a variety of workshops and seminars on early literacy and school readiness. She has two very busy three- year- old twins and has been married for seven years. When she has a moment to herself she loves to spend time with her girlfriends, of course, eating out, painting, scrap-booking and playing with her three dogs. “It’s easy to lose ourselves and our individual identities when we have kids. Having a Mom’s Night Out is a chance to be you and remember what that feels like!”

Mandy Wilson

A 33-year-old mom of three: Shelby, her 15-year-old daughter; Marcus Layne, who passed away six years ago at age three; and 13-month-old Rhys Layne David, named in honor of his brother and grandfather. She is busy trying for their last child. Mandy is a stay-at-home mom, but is looking for a job. She is hoping to go back to school in the spring, and her dream is to own her own book store someday. Mandy loves spending time with family, watching sports, especially hockey (Go Stars!), NASCAR and basketball (Go Mavs!), movies, music, bowling, computer games and most especially, reading. “Women need time to remind themselves that they are not one half of someone else or just someone’s mom, but individuals with their own identities and interests who deserve time alone to pursue the things they enjoy.”

Melody Wilson

Melody has a degree in health and fitness and has worked in the fitness industry for ten years. She then decided to stay home after her second child was born. When her daughter was about a year old, Melody started her own Pampered Chef business. About her business, she says, “I can stay home with my children all day. I work the nights I choose to. I get to go to parties with my friends and get paid for it! Talk about the best of both worlds! I love being here for my family and still having a meaningful career. I enjoy so much bringing families back to the dinner table with fabulous kitchen tools and easy recipes that make cooking a joy to do!” Visit her website at www.pamperedchef.biz/melodywilson “Most husbands will be willing to take the kids for the night. But, let’s face it…if you don’t tell him you need a break, he won’t notice on his own!”

In the news, we constantly hear how undervalued teachers are in our society.  I agree. Teachers are grossly underpaid and under appreciated. However, at least teachers have a bell which rings at the end of the day, signaling to them that they can take off their teacher “hat” and transition into their private lives. Moms, on the other hand, have no bell that says their workday is done. No chime that signifies “Now is your time!” Sleep may appear to be the only reprieve for a mom who has wiped noses and butts all day long. This is not to say that our children don’t provide us with joy and laughter, but love for our children does not always serve as an adequate replacement for some much needed alone time.

I once read about ancient wars that had been stopped by the female population in the battling villages. They gave an ultimatum to their men. They threw down the ultimate gauntlet and said, “Until the fighting stops, you will no longer be able to make love to us.” Sure enough, the men laid down their weapons, (Most likely threw them down) a cease-fire occurred, and the war ended. Although I am not a fan of withholding sex to get what I want, you can’t argue with history! If sex can be used to end violence, just think how it could be used constructively to negotiate some alone time for us moms. Just the mere threat of a sex strike would send waves of panic through the male population. Our significant others would be on the phone in an instant, calling to make a reservation for us at a spa or our favorite restaurant.  I can see it now, husbands across America would have their needs waylaid until our basic needs for renewal and rejuvenation were satisfied. Well, although I do think this approach would deliver some much needed perspective to our spouses, I am not an extremist at heart. (I also don’t want to receive hate mail from husbands who have been “cut-off”.) Instead, I suggest that we make ourselves a priority without having to resort to sexual blackmail. We can stage a peaceful “me-time” movement where everyone wins.

Since society has not yet carved out a mandatory two-week vacation for moms, it is up to us to make sure that we get the down time we deserve. We have to take matters into our own hands to ensure that we can step away from our role as moms, even if it’s just for a few hours a week. Knowing that many successful revolutions have taken place when there is solidarity amongst those lobbying for change, I’m letting you know that the time has come. Moms are ready to unite and send up a unified voice to the heavens: a voice proclaiming, “If you want me at the top of my game, and ready to face another day of dodging Legos and leaping over strollers to catch a wayward toddler, I need a night off!”

Sit back, relax and take a glimpse into the organized chaos we call motherhood. Anyone reading these tales can clearly see that without time for ourselves, we are merely one step away from a straitjacket and a padded cell. Wouldn’t our families prefer to be without us for a small block of time instead of being limited to seeing us only during visitation hours at the sanitarium?

The other coveted location that I visit, on an almost daily basis, is the grocery store. Maybe this is my connection with the outside world? As a roll my cart full of groceries down the air-conditioned aisles, I have the uncomfortable realization that I am in a state of flux. I am no longer part of the working class, yet I have not transitioned yet to the stay-at-home clique. I had the distinct feeling that I am invisible. I felt as if I no longer mattered. OK, snap out of it. “One pound of Boars Head Turkey, shaved please.” I mumbled to the produce guy. As he smiled and rambled on about the weather, I became increasingly aggravated. Did he think that I didn’t know about current events? Did he think that just because I wasn’t in a business suit that I didn’t have specific views on factors affecting our world? Did he think that just because I was dressed in sweats that I wasn’t capable of discussing global warming or the war in Iraq?  More horrifying, was that fact that I had been that produce guy.  No, I never shaved meat for a living, but I was guilty of the preconceived notion that stay-at-home moms were all about Little League and PTA. God, I had unwittingly been a female bigot all these years and had never realized it. What I had realized was that once one leaves the workforce, those around you seem to no longer view you as a center of influence or a source of information. Unless, that is, it has to do with a new recipe of a trick to get out grass stains from jeans. I had not only given up my title, I had given up a part of my essence. I liked being sought out for advice. After all, I am a problem solver. I miss not being vocal. I miss the verbal jousting that occurs when you are trying to convince someone to see a topic from your point of view. Was I being ultra sensitive to my new surroundings or was this reality. I could feel my brain cells diminishing as I rolled my cart out to my car, hearing the thoughts whirl in my head only slightly louder than the cart’s wheel which clicked incessantly.

Diary Entry 34

Today, I was asked by the “Team Mom” for Zach’s T-ball league to fill in for her in the dug out. She explained, “It is no big deal. The kids just need their helmets and bats and you send them out there to play.”  I told her that I’d be happy to help her out. There were thirteen children ranging in ages from four to six years old. It was like trying to herd kangaroos. “O.K. you guys, you need to sit in your batting order, so I can get you ready to bat.” I said. Utter chaos and pandemonium was still the response. Two of the boys were pushing each other; one boy was leaving the cage to follow a rabid, stray dog; another little boy was climbing the side of the cage; and yet another was rocking back and forth hugging himself. “Really, you guys, I need for you to listen, so we can beat the other team. You guys want to win, right?” I implored, appealing to their primal need to compete. Apparently, that primal need doesn’t kick in for a few years. I received slightly more cooperation, but not much. They calmed down to the point that they did not have to be sedated, but still rowdy enough that I briefly thought about needing a stiff drink in the middle of the day. After the second inning, they were back in full form. “ I have treats for everyone who sits down and waits for their turn to bat.” I announced. Bribery is such a wonderful motivator. They ran back to their assigned spots and allowed me to outfit them to go take their respective turns at bat. True, some had the wrong helmets and others were hitting for the first time with a teammate’s equipment, but there was no bloodshed. “Here’s your Tootsie-Pop, and yours, and yours.” I chimed as they left the dug out. The bag of treats was the best $2.00 investment that I had ever made. Give me corporate vipers any day over a bunch of sugared up children. The vipers are much more predictable and less scary.

Diary Entry 46

We went over to the in-laws for a family get- together. Not known for my culinary skills, I am usually in charge of bringing the wine or the napkins. Two jobs that don’t require any cooking or baking. My mother-in-law was busy preparing dinner in the kitchen. I wandered in there and asked if there was anything I could do to help. (Note: The majority of the dinner was already fixed, so this isn’t as altruistic as it sounds.) “Sure,” she said. “Can you put out some crackers on the cheese tray?” “No problem” I responded cheerfully. “What type of crackers do you want me to put out?” “Oh, you decide.” she answered. Wow, really, I can decide? This is where my life has led me? For a woman who once made hundreds of investment decisions a day, that would affect the fate of many futures, I was now in charge of deciding whether or not to have Wheat Thins vs. cracked pepper wafers with the cheese? I went with the Wheat Thins.

Diary Entry 51

Part of the privilege of being a grown up is that we no longer have nightly homework assignments from school. We paid our dues along the way and did our fair share of quadratic equations and solar system models made from little Styrofoam balls. So, when Jessica approached me tonight for help in her math class, I was caught completely off-guard. “Mom,” she whined, “I can’t figure out these problems and they are due tomorrow!” She is in 8th grade Algebra and I figured, although I have never enjoyed Math, surely, I could lend my daughter a helping hand.  I stared at the page she handed me, as the four problems on the sheet of paper might as well have been written in an ancient foreign language. “This is 8th grade Math?” I pondered, as I was trying to formulate a plot of how I let her know that her mother, who spent seven years as a successful investment advisor, is incapable of doing her homework, while still being able to hang onto some of my self-respect. “Why don’t you get your Dad to help you with it?” I suggested, “He has always been a whiz at Math.” “I already did ask him for help. He doesn’t understand it either!”  So, now, not only did she think that I got my college degree from a cracker jack box, but she thinks we got a two for one special. “Well, it has been soooo many years since either of us has done this type of problem. It’s not like riding a bike.” I reason. “You can’t expect us to hop back on after all these years.” “Ugh, you guys are no help!” she groaned as she left our room shaking her head back and forth.” We love you, Jessica!” I yelled to her as she climbed the stairs to her room. That’s got to count for something. Apparently, that’s the only thing I could count on lately, since my abacus had been put out to pasture.

Diary Entry 114

I did the unthinkable today. I attempted to do back to school shopping with Zachary in tow. Usually, I’ll get his things during a few hours of power shopping on the weekend, so I don’t have to go through the hassle of hearing, “I don’t like that!” “This is too big!” “That’s ugly!” But, today, I had a momentary lapse in judgment and took him along. After he played hide- and- go seek in the racks of clothes and nearly gave me a heart attack because I thought he had been kidnapped, he went crawling across the floor collecting dozens of discarded pins. (Note to self: Feeding your child a large ice cream cone, dipped in chocolate sprinkles, prior to wanting him to behave is setting yourself up for failure Not only have you given away your bribery tool, but you have unwittingly given your child enough sugar to keep he or she buzzing for hours) As we exited the store, I remembered that I was out of my blush and concealer and I made a pit stop at the make-up counter. As I wearily approached the counter, hands full of bags, a woman, dressed in business attire darted in front of me. “I’m on my lunch break. I have to rush to get to a meeting!” she stated curtly. I stared her down, but did not answer as I watched Zach hopping around me in circles, pretending he was a frog .I felt like responding, “Oh, no rush here! I just have a six year old that I have spent the last 60 minutes trying to corral. How could you understand that it has taken the strength of ten men to keep his grimy little fingers off of all the clothes so that I don’t end up having to purchase a cashmere sweater laden with bubble gum? How could you possibly understand that I don’t have an endless amount of time? Just because I am not working in an office, doesn’t mean that I don’t have a schedule to keep. In twenty minutes, I have to pick my daughter up from her acting class. After that, I have to take them both of my kids for eye appointments to see if they’ll need glasses for school. Following that, I have to meet the exterminator at my house so that I don’t find bugs the size of small pack animals in my garage! No schedule for me to keep! But, by all means, you go right ahead!” That’s what I would have said if I hadn’t noticed that she was not wearing a wedding ring. That’s what I would have said if I hadn’t noticed that her nails were perfectly manicured and that her designer suit was perfectly pressed .All three signs lead me to the conclusion that she was not a stay-at-home mom. Only another stay-at-home mom could empathize with the demands that seemed invisible to the rest of the world. Only a stay-at-home mom could commiserate with the stresses, both financial and emotional, that we encounter on a daily basis. That’s when it hit me. How many other women are going through the same trials and tribulations? How many other women have decided to trade in their briefcases for diaper bags? There must be throngs of women who have made the same life choices. Why then, is it that you don’t hear about them? Why is it that you can find support groups for every minor disease known to man, but you rarely find support for one of the largest and rapidly growing conditions known to women…being a stay-at-Mom. I was now on a mission to find other successful women and hear what they were experiencing after they chose to derail their careers in the pursuit of raising their families

There Is An “I” In Family

As a new stay-at-home Mom, I initially felt that since this was now my chosen profession, every minute of my day had to be dedicated to my family. My house should sparkle; my laundry shouldn’t pile up; my refrigerator should be fully stocked; and a sumptuous dinner should be ready and waiting for my husband and kids when they arrived home. The only problem with this scenario was there was no time left for me. There were days when I needed a “Mommy Time Out.” Unlike time-outs we give to our children for misbehaving, this time out was for good behavior; a self-imposed reward of sorts. It was essential to recapture time that was solely for me. Friends, who went back to a career, after being at home fulltime with their kids, joked that they returned to work just so they could have a five-minute coffee break to themselves. I didn’t want to grow resentful that I no longer had a life to call my own. My adult time outs included a mixture of relaxation and pampering. I used to feel guilty when I splurged on a pedicure or treated myself to a massage. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel worthy; it was that it felt too egocentric. Now, I realize that these things are not selfish. These things are “investment spending” for the well being of my family. When I allow myself to relax, it recharges my spirit. I found the balance that I was so desperately seeking all these years. How can you be a good caregiver if you never take good care of yourself? If you spend all your energy on others and never focus on your needs, then eventually, there won’t be anything left to give. No, I didn’t need a big Swedish masseur named Günter to help me relax. Sometimes, I took walks. Other times, I took a bath. (We have a beautiful Jacuzzi in our bathroom that has managed to stay untouched for the last six years!) By taking these much needed breaks from my daily routine, I was able to rid myself of stress and found that it enabled me to give more of myself to others.

In addition to relaxing, I found it was equally crucial for me to find hobbies. My brain was screaming for something to keep it stimulated. Learning to fly became my passion. Having something that I always wanted to do and finally having the chance to pursue it, was extremely empowering. It bolstered my self- esteem. It gave me a new way to define myself. I was no longer Rachel, the businesswoman; I was Rachel, the pilot! It also gave me something to talk about at cocktail parties besides what fabric softener worked best. I now make a conscious effort to live outside my comfort zone by doing something that has been on my “always wanted to try this” list. Sure, it’s scares me a little, yet it helps me see myself from a different angle. For me, stretching my inner boundaries is the equivalent adrenaline rush of closing a big deal. I decided to take advantage of the time during the day when Zach and Jess are in school, to look at this chapter of my life as a learning opportunity. By trying on this new role as stay-at-home mom, it not only has brought me closer to my kids, it has afforded me the chance to discover and fulfill my dreams; dreams that always seamed so far off, but are now at my fingertips. Finding my passion has helped me to find myself.

“Having It All” Does Not Necessarily Mean Having It All At Once.

I had spent decades trying to live up to a preconceived notion about what it is to be an accomplished woman. All the bra-burning women that came before made great strides with the women’s movement. The women who fought for Equal Opportunity opened doors, that without their persistence, would have remained slammed shut. Women were released from their shackles of domestic servitude and, in record numbers, former housewives and daughters of former housewives claimed their rightful place in corporate America.

Women knew they had something to prove. “I can do anything a man can do…maybe better!” was the theme song of this generation. It was the mantra we said to ourselves when we woke up in the morning. It was the proverbial beacon of light at the end of the tunnel when we were trying to claw our way to the top. The women who were pioneers in the women’s lib movement certainly gave us the opportunity to make our mark in the business world. The only downside to having the “keys to the kingdom” was that some of the women, who were now on the fast track to the top, still had a maternal instinct gnawing at them inside. These women still wanted to fulfill their dream of having a family, and raising children, complete with the white picket fence.

So, here sat the dilemma. Which path did we take? We were at a fork in the road. “Do I pursue a career or do I start a family?” we pondered. “Do I bolster my self-esteem and claim my independence by earning a salary of my own or do I become a Mom?” we fretted. On the one hand, money and respect are good things. On the other hand, raising another human being is pretty special, too. Which to choose? Chocolate of vanilla? Peanut or Plain? Salt or pepper? I’m not sure if the answer was born out of the same Gloria Steinem attitude of “you can have it all!” but there it was. Be both. Take both. Be everything at once.

The great juggling act began. Women chose to take on multiple roles. Negotiate mergers during the day and negotiate your way through your lasagna recipe for dinner. We were the breadwinners, while simultaneously being the moms. We were kicking butt and taking names during the daylight hours and we were wiping butts and noses at twilight. Having it all! Ah, yes, having it all…having high stress; having headaches; having no personal time what so ever; having divorces; having affairs; having guilt. Guilt is a biggy. We were damned if we do and damned if we don’t. When we went off to work and dropped our children at daycare, we were feeling guilty for abandoning them. If we took sick days off to tend to our children when they were ill, we felt guilty that we left our clients hanging. It seemed, we had created an un-winnable game. Not only did we endure our own guilt feelings, we had guilt flung at us, like bad cafeteria food, from mothers who chose not to work. “How can you leave your kids with strangers?” they would ask incredulously. “How can you let yourself be dependent on a man for income and shelter?” we working Moms would counter. Guilt. Guilt. And more guilt. There had to be a way to deal with the pressures of “having it all” without self-destructing; without sacrificing our families; or our careers and without crushing our spirit in the process.

Like all obvious answers, there was the solution staring me in the face. The women’s libbers did have it right. We can have it all. However, nobody said we had to have it all at once. It sounds like such a small and subtle distinction, but, to me, it was a huge revelation. I can have a career. I can have a family. Who mandated that it needed to be simultaneous? Today’s stay-at-home mom is a “new breed of stay-at-home moms” because she has the power of choice

Mom’s Night Out answers that age-old question. It takes a look at how to carve time for yourself and make sure that you land somewhere near the top of your own to-do list.  You’ll hear from moms who share funny stories about how their usually cherubic child had them laughing so hard that they cried, or crying so hard they just had to laugh.  In both instances, they knew they deserved an adult “time-out.”

Mom’s Night Out unlocks the secret of how making time for yourself actually benefits both you and your entire family. It gives overworked and underappreciated moms a guilt-free excuse to go play!

Bye-Bye Boardroom

As it redefines “Women’s Lib” with a laugh for a new generation, Bye-Bye Boardroom gives stay-at-home moms a true voice, a sense of community, and a chance to participate in the humorous “group therapy” the contributors offer in the frustrations, utter chaos, and yes, joy they encounter as mothers with their children.

In the end, the book validates their decisions. Be it at the helm of a company, behind the instruments of an airplane, chairing a black-tie ball, or nurturing their children, the book proves that this generation of women has the freedom to choose their own path on any given day. They are held back only by their own internal dialogue and self-imposed boundaries. Through Bye-Bye Boardroom, women can laugh and cry together and move on to find balance in their lives.

That’s why I created a new holiday, for all of us over-worked, underappreciated Moms. The 4th annual “National Mom’s Night Out!” is Thursday, March 18th and it’s a guilt-free excuse for Moms to go have fun with friends. Skeptics (read: “husbands”) might argue and say, “You already have a holiday for being a Mom… It’s called Mother’s Day.” I would answer them by respectfully pointing out that although we do celebrate being Moms on Mother’s Day, we do so as a family. We go out to brunch with our kids or see a movie (probably a cartoon) with our children. This is all well and good, but nowhere on that day do we get a chance to recharge and reconnect with who we are besides being a Mom. National Mom’s Night Out is an opportunity to have us reclaim a bit of our pre-motherhood identity. It affords us the chance to take off our sweat pants and strap on some sexy heels and go have a good time. (Perhaps trade in our baby bottles for a wine bottle for at least one night)

Although the third Thursday in March is the official “National Mom’s Night Out” I am hoping that Moms across the country carve out time for themselves on a more frequent basis. We need to land somewhere near the top of our own “To-Do” lists to ensure we are recharging our spirit. Making time for yourself may seem selfish, but taking care of number one makes it possible for you to take care of the rest of your family more effectively.

So, set the laundry aside and leave money out for your kids to order pizza and call your friends for National Mom’s Night Out: Thursday, March 18th!